Black women need to be more independent

I know the above statement may seem to be overkill. Black women are stereotyped to be too independent. However, I do not believe this is true, and if it is, it is certainly not a bad thing.

Black women are way too hung up on what everyone thinks about us, and we should complain less about being undermined by society and the media. This is America. Don't expect it to hold you above the light-skinned girl above you. However, many black women act under the assumption that America will come around, and the black women will be glorified along with white. The problem is you can not live by wishful thinking or by your opinion of what America should be or what America should do. Stop expecting America to give black women justice.

Those who make such assumptions allow their self-concept to be defined by whether society gives them its stamp of approval or not. It then negatively affects their self-esteem when black women are persecuted because they take it personally. One thing black people fail to understand is that as long as aspects of your life rely on the majority's acceptance, you are still under their control. Black women should follow the John's advice of "being in the world [or America in this case] but not of it." We should not allow America's injustices to affect us to the point so that we conform to it.

Black women are at the bottom of the barrel in every aspect of American culture. Therefore, it is impractical to remain a part of such a system. I often hear black girls complain that white guys don't like them as they like white girls (not as if these black girls should be worried about getting white approval anyway), but they fail to realize that they are operating in a system that was designed to uplift the white woman and demean the black woman. That's why you are still not appreciated in the media, even though you straighten your hair, bleach your skin, or wear color contacts. The black woman will never be appreciated the way that the white woman is, so stop trying to be. Don't try to be the way that she is and find your own path. We need to find non-conventional goals that works for us. Think of it this way, when lab rats realize that there isn't cheese in a certain part of the maze, do they continue to return to it? They try to find cheese in a different location. Black women keep returning to an empty slot hoping that "cheese" is there, when we need to find fulfillment in places the that we aren't now.

In addition, black women should stop worrying so much about what men think and getting married, especially since black women aren't in demand by men anyway , it is wasted effort. I'm not saying that black women should give up on men or love. I'm just saying that this IR movement among black women is misplaced effort. Date, absolutely, but dating shouldn't be our main goal, and neither should be being accepted. We need to learn skills that enable us not to only survive but to thrive in a racist society. An example of this how the Koreans took over the black hair market. That was a great opportunity to add more power to our community by creating a market that made by black people and target to black people. Instead, our desire to conform to white standards was exploited and a $9 billion dollar industry is going to people who could care less about us. Imagine if we took all of that money that we spend to conform and used it to empower ourselves.

Focus on ending things that matter like black ignorance. Stop worrying about men and dating. Stop worrying about the stand of beauty. Most importantly get out of the Eurocentric mode of thinking because you will always be at the bottom rung of its social ladder if you operate under it.