Using Interracial Dating as a Weapon

As people don't seem to read my post, but are making assumptions, here's a note so I don't have to say this over and over. This post is about African-Americans, not just AA women (2) this is not an anti-IR post. (3) This is directed at those who IR date because they have problems with AA (wo)men.
A picture says a thousand words


I just heard of this book by CW today. The cover pretty much sums up the depths of self-hated to which we have sunken. It's no secret that there is a gender war of sorts in the African-American community. Scores of us are verbally destroying our Brothers and Sisters in order to justify why we want to date anyone who isn't of our race. However, people who do this fail to realize that no matter how much they deride African-American (wo)men, they are pretty much shooting blanks as far as their argument is concerned. Here's why:

1. Let's just be honest. You just see European as better.
What all of these arguments come down to is a denial of racial bias. Rather acknowledging that they simply have a bias to Europeans, they put the blame on all of those of the opposite sex, saying that their in inadequacies forced them to find a mate outside their race. But anyone who is not in denial can see straight through this. We were all raised in this Euro-centric culture, so we know how you think. We were all trained to judged things by how white they are and only stop doing this when we recognize our behavior and work to correct it. But until we do, we chase after what closely matches the standard. I mean really, why choose an African-American, who doesn't come close to meeting the European Standard, when you can get the genuine item? Those who do this do not want to recognize their behavior, so in order to cover up their biases, they say that the other gender is responsible for their malicious feelings.

2. We come from the same origin.
I never understood how someone could rant about how terrible all African-American (wo)men were when we are raised in the same environments. It is not as if African-American women and men were born and raised on different planets. We grew up together in the same communities and cultures, so the bad soil that turned one of us rotten must have done the same to the other. Therefore, you can't act like the other gender is evil but yours is an innocent angel from heaven.

3. What Makes You Think the EA's Want You?
When you have so many problems with African-Americans, what makes you think that European-Americans wouldn't as well? If you don't respect African Americans, don't expect European-Americans to either.

4. Who made European-Americans demigods?
How can one find so many faults with African-Americans, but none with European-Americans at all? These African-American (wo)men bashers act as if choosing a EA for a mate will give them a flawless relationship straight out of a Disney movie and make their life complete. Their elevation of EA's to god-like perfection just illustrates their poor view of AA's. Secondly, since they love to talk about how superior EAs are a choice for mates, one must wonder what they do when talks about racism roll around. After all, it appears that EA's have more interest in AA's welfare than we do ourselves. They really have nothing to complain about.

What's truly ironic about this picture
Each time I hear someone insinuate that European-American men are better, such as in the cover of this book, the irony just sickens me. The author of this book says, "Black men are continuously being taught to disrespect, dishonor, and disregard the Black woman. The ugly, heartbreaking results manifest themselves with the 'baby mama' epidemic, video vixen mentality, enabling, denial, and other self-defeating behaviors." I agree with that statement, but what makes her think that EA men don't do the same? If your own people don't value you, why would you think that others do? In addition, who do does she think taught AA men to treat us this way? Who does she think taught us that EA women were valuable and worth protecting and reduced AA women to worthless objects? Who perpetuated, and continues to do so, this unbalanced image of EA and AA women in the media:

Choose your loyalties wisely.

As far as AA women bashing goes, it is shameful that men would turn their back on the only ones who stuck by them after 400 years of going through pure hell. How can anyone say such nasty things about AA women when their own sister and even their own mother is one. It reminded of a passage from the Adi Granth that criticizes this behavior well if you put it into the context of AA women:

We are born of woman,
we are conceived in the womb of woman,
we are engaged and married to woman.
We make friendship with woman
and the linage continued because of woman...
we are bound with the world though woman.
We grow up stronger and wiser having drunk milk from the breast of woman.
Why should we talk ill of her,
who gives birth to Kings?
The woman is born from woman;
there is none without her.
Only the One True Lord is without woman.

15 comments:

Faith said...

So you look at a book cover and assign it an absolute definition of self-hatred - without even reading it, researching the author or participating in the forums - while ignoring all the displayed foul behavior by numerous BM who bash BW every day?

That says more about your issue with WM than anything about the state of the lives of BW. Why not discuss the fractured family structure, the way light and white skin is treasured (i.e Young Berg and his "no dark butts", Kanye and his "we like mutts", Ne-Yo "light-skinned kids are the prettiest" and all the various tools of indoctrination that negatively impact blacks.

Not white racism. But BLACK on BLACK racism.

Do you advocate an equal disdain for all the BM that exalt and lust after white women and put them on pedestals all the while warring against white males - which is clearly the mindset of defeated males. Or is this all about you dissing black women esp when so many bend themselves over backwards and literally work themselves to death fighting for the black community?

Where do you think the HIV rate as #1 killer of BW 25-44 comes from?
The 70% + never married (to black men) rate.
The 70%+ out of wedlock birth rate (BM abandoning their offspring).

Or since you are so male-oriented: the way black males are killing each other to the point of complete annihilation?

Or is that all about white males?

The Black Bot said...

A picture of a AA woman with a EA man with the caption "Black women deserve better" is a clear indication of what this book is about. In addition, the first lines of the book's description are targeted at AA men. I have no problem with IR dating, but I do have a problem with people bring down their race to justify their actions. This post was about racism that both AA women and men give to each other--but then again, you would have understood that if you read my post in its entirety. But from your comment, it is clear that you did not.

Interracial Love Magazine said...

Hi Black Bot,

Must black women be treated as traitors for dating white men?

If you see an interracial couple, do you just assume that there is some element of self- loathing towards their own in order to justify their dating decision?

It's as if you are trying to conceal interracial relationships out of concern that it is tarnishing the integrity of the african-american community - one couple at a time.

Even you are smart enough to know that black women are the most resistant to IR dating in this country. Why do you think there is so much media coverage on sending the message to black women: "You can explore your options."

And in closing, black women have always been highly desired by Caucasian men. It was just never acceptable to disclose it.


Interracial Love Magazine

The Black Bot said...

For the last time, I never said AA women who date EA men are "traitors." If you would just read the post instead of making assumptions, you would see this is about (1)African-Americans, not just AA women (2) people who IR date because they think the opposite sex is inadequate, untrustworthy, etc.

Faith said...

You are being dishonest in this entire conversation. You claim that WM are seen as better....well by whom? Since it's a BW on the cover and you're complaining then you're saying it's BW who are doing that. When you know it's BM who worship WW. And we do not all come from the same place or are raised the same. Plus you spew the same poisonous lies about how undesirable BW are. So you are yet another person who claims to be helping or evaluating but is in fact keeping BW in the same limiting boxes and denigrating them. If YOU want to think this way and limit your choices fine, but do not block the path for other women by reinforcing blind race loyalty standards to BW that even BM don't follow. There are not enough BM available period. So your solution is to keep BW desperate and alone clinging to false totems that do NOT work. I saw your Twitter bio and it states you're in college. You still have a lot to learn.

The Black Bot said...

Everyone has been conditioned to see EA men as better, including AA men and women, and EA women and men. Both AA women and men hold EA's in high regard because they have been conditioned to do so.

You're not understanding what I'm saying. For example, AA men often say they do not like AA women because we are all ghetto. The point I am trying to make is if all AA women were raised to be ghetto, there is no way that AA men were raised ghetto as well. In other words, AA share many of the same experiences.

I never said that we were undesirable, rather that we are undesired. It's the truth, and it is something that AA women need to accept. AA women need to understand that we are not desired because of our supposed inadequacy but because we live in a Euro-centric culture that places European characteristics at the top and African features at the bottom. Until AA women understand this and accept that we are undesired because of this, we can never be content as we will try to be something we are not. If you had read what I have been saying, you would have understood this, but again you are making assumptions rather than listening to what I'm saying.

I never once said that AA women should limit our choices to because I do not believe that. If you are desperate, it is because of your own choosing. You should be content with yourself whether a man shows you attention or not. Finally, I resent you insulting me because of my age when you don't even bother to read what I write.

FreeMan said...

I truly don't understand where all this is coming from. All these posts around the blogosphere talking about IR dating and it's benefits. I even seen a website where the woman is saying they should boycott all Black men.

I like your points as I think they are true. There are a lot of people blaming their own shortcomings on the complete race. It's better to say Black Women don't do this and Black Men don't do that instead of saying hey maybe I just don't pick the right type of people. Maybe just maybe I attract losers because I am not where and how I need to be.

I am a successful guy and have been hit on by white women but I never thought about dating any of them. My mom is black and my sisters and my grandmom and there is a certain level of comfort knowing that my future mate understands me. If I told a white girl I don't eat pork they will think why but a Black Woman will say OK. We share the same culture and that's a bigger plus than wanting to be special.

We just have a lot of dumb people aka losers who are complaining about not finding anyone. Just like the prevailing propaganda that most Black Men are dead or in Jail when sheer numbers let you know that's impossible. When you are a victim you look for any reason besides yourself as to why things are not working. Hey it's hard to meet people who like you for what you are and dating and courting is part of the process of finding that person. It takes time and it takes failure to find that match.

K. Michel said...

Obviously, what you've said was correct Black Bot. Even if you didn't go past the cover, I wouldn't blame you at all. It's ignorant sensationalism.

"Black Women Deserve Better"? How can this book be about anything other than racial bias? Now, do Black women deserve better? Of course. But they can only "get the better stuff" when they have a White man? I don't buy it.

See? We've been fighting very hard to get AWAY from the line of thinking that White (man or woman) equals right. This is just a shameful publication, altogether. Very embarrassing.

Great, great post Black Bot!

- K. Michel of K. Michel Press

S.L.I said...

i agree if only they can actually implement their way of mindset of unbiased believes and embrace the naturals rather than comparing. In my society also we have similar issues. We asians as in South East Asia: chinkos, malays, indos etc tend to believe that WM are more romantic, falthful etc but when in reality its just media influences, brainwashed.

I am not literally saying they arent, BUT i like to EMPHASIZE that we are from the same generation of ADAM and EVE, color differentiation should not be tolerated since we have BRAINS. yes, we probably have the same color but different heart but it all depends on the individual. HUMANS must understand that they are HUMAN and ARE NOT SUPREME. Humans are fickle, its their nature to change and that leads to another i.e reason, excuses, blaming and more.

Blobyboy said...

You didn't even participate in the forums? How could you BlackBot? I'm sorry but I have to say people like Faith annoy me to no end. They refuse to admit that we are living in a racist culture - People who fein ignorance annoy me to no ends. I agree that AA men bash AA women, but noone ever calls them on it. Heck AA women get the short end of the stick with racism and sexism. You can't even point it out when it's happening in public without RANDOM people rushing to the sexist's racist's defence(Out of denial).

The book is probably not about self-hatred, but I'm pretty sure the self-hatred will help boost sales. In other words that cover is no accident. I laughed when i saw it, and I want it.

"Your not going to find a racist cow. It's not going to happen." - Bill Nye

I know I'm being a sacastic jerk but...
Where do you think the HIV rate as #1 killer of BW 25-44 comes from?
The C.I.A.

Oh btw in my opinion black/white men/women are jerks! Now dogs, they're good people.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, BB. I am sick of the bashing done by some of our race against the other. Stop blaming the victim. Black women are the reason we have survived for centuries now she is being blacklisted. Marry white is not a guarantee for happiness. Seems that some here have drunk the Koolaid.

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Anonymous said...

You are in denial.The CIA is not responsible for the high HIV rates of Black Americans. If you watch Maury Povich on any given weekday, you will see why Black Americans have the highest HIV rates.

african love said...

I just don't get it why most of the blogpost talks about IR. What's good and and bad about it. In fact, most of the topics nowadays is focusing in discrimination to other races. What's happening to the world? Are they not tired of comparing other races from them?like for instance the black and women issue, the asian and white men controversies.

How long would they do this?

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